Feb 6. 2015. WHY Africa?

It is too cold in Baltimore. I somehow feel this coldness in my bones. This weather reminded me of the time last year that I was looking for work in Africa so madly. When I was in Africa, I often thought about this: ‘Can I go back to the U.S.? Can I see my school and friends?’ New life in Africa was struggling, and I was not even sure if I get back to the normal life. Well, I cannot say for sure which one my normal life is at this point. Gratefully, I am still alive, and I came back to school. I am just glad to be back and happy to hug schoolmates who I have not seen for a long time.

Maputo, Capital of Mozambique

People here ask me many things about Africa with their eyes wide open. Still, Africa is an unknown place to many of them.

“What food did you eat?” “Is there sushi?”

“Is there a church?”

“What do you remember most about your Africa experience?”

“Where did you stay?”

“Tell me your behind story!”

“Don’t come closer! You may have Ebola virus!”

“How did you communicate with them?”

“Your face didn’t get burnt black. Were you really in Africa?”

“Are you healthy?”

Though I was questioned the same thing, but the questions always sounded new to me. I tried to answer to the best to give them the right impression about Africa. I am still careful in talking anything about it, because people may reconceive wrong idea and have prejudice against Africa.

Somebody asked me, "What did you lose?" 

'What did I lose...?' I thought carefully and answered "My youth!" (hahaha...) It is an undeniable fact that I am getting old. 
Then she asked me again, "So then, what did you gain?" I answered, "Everything." Yes, I gained everything. It was an invaluable life lesson that will affect my entire life.

I am so happy when people are pleased to see me. I know, 8-month is not that long time for us to cry for joy, it is just the twinkle of an eye. It should be not the strange moment if someone tells me “Been a while,” and leave. However, I was a bit disappointed when person who I thought we were so close did not say anything to me and gave me a knowing glance from the distance. To me, coming back to school and church in the U.S. was awkward and unfamiliar moment enough that I was all flushed with tension for the first two weeks. I might anticipate warm greeting, “Welcome back!!!” from every single person so that I feel a real sense of being in the U.S. I reflect on myself that how much I was nice to people around me before I left. I might treat someone poorly, talk with specific person, or did not contribute anything for the group. Better late than never. I am here, and I want to be a good listener and nice person to everyone.

The question that made me struck dumb for a while was this: “WHY Africa?”

“Why do you have to go there? You can do many things for the community, even in Baltimore. Just go a few blocks away from your school. You will see the slum area.”

It is true. Baltimore is one of the highest percentage of blacks or African Americans in the U.S. More than 60% of residents are black in this city, and there should be enormous work to serve the community. Why did I leave many works that I could have done it by walking just 5 minutes and board an airplane for Africa that takes whole 24 hours? Why did I have to take every risk of getting malaria, typhoid, and all kinds of tropical disease in the choking hot area and felt so gaunt and desolate? Why did I borrow trouble and learn the hard way? Nobody asked me to do that. 

Here is the reason that I can say generally in this blog. Between hearing and experiencing, there is a world of difference. I might have heard so many times that a missionary who went Africa suffered from lack of water and electricity, and scared of snake that trespassed on the house. When I heard the story that sounds like heroic exploits, I thought ‘That’s interesting,’ and forget about it. If you do not experience, you will be indifferent in the end. I could never imagine how they actually live and what kind of trouble they are suffering. In other words, since I had everything in the U.S., I have not even realized the preciousness of bucket of water and electricity for my entire life because those necessities were always available. I did not have to worry about anything that I already had. Instead, I have always complained what I could not have. I never knew how I lucky was cause I had it all until I went to Africa. I finally have in mind that I appreciate everything that I have had. I wanted to prove it to myself: if I abandon all benefits of civilization and become the same as local people in Africa, would I still have a sense of duty of helping them? I tried hard to have the same condition that Africans have: place to live and food to eat every day. The result: typhoid was painful, mosquitoes did not make me sleep, unidentified ugly bugs offended me, and lack of cultured life made me crazily bored.

After finishing Africa life, I realize that I am never being superior to anyone. I have seen so many smart and enthusiastic African people who eagerly want to change the situation of their country. I have learnt many things from them, and I was the mere person who was fortunately born in the rich place. Studying public health was not “helping” or “saving” millions at a time, instead, it was for “being with them” to understand their life with my full heart. This enlightenment would have never come to me if I had stayed in the familiar and comfortable place. That is why. I went to Africa to feel their real nature of life. I felt head and ears, with all of my skin.

Lastly, it is not right to say “just Africa.” There are more than 50 countries in Africa, and each country has its own feature and characteristic. Since I have been to 5 African countries, I have simply said Africa, but I have should mentioned each country name, Sierra Leone, Tanzania, Zambia, Malawi, and Mozambique. If you want to remember yourself how blessed you are, I highly recommend you visit one of African countries and stay there for a while. I am not saying you will live in poor surroundings, but you will see the people who have the happiest hours of their life regardless of fancy cell phone, computer and car.

WHY Africa? Because I can say with confidence that I am alive and I can feel the real value of living, breathing, and smiling.

Jan 20. 2015. Back in the U.S.

After 26 hours of flight and driving, I am back in Baltimore, Maryland. While breathing in Washington DC, I looked back over my career in Africa. All kinds of memory went through my mind like a flash. Standing on the Wolfe Street still has not hit home yet. Maybe, life in Africa was like a springtime fantasy. I am just happy that I return alive. Also, I am excited to see my school and church friends in Maryland.

Though I left Africa, my work will still be about African country. My upcoming work at school will be mobile health project in Mali.

Jan 15. 2015. Visitor

It has been 8 months since I came to Africa. When I came here, I had a full of great ambition that I would do everything I could. I look back upon the past how I was in Sierra Leone, Tanzania, Zambia, Malawi, and here in Mozambique. I feel sense of accomplishment, and it was a rewarding work experience, but at the same time, I also have a feeling of doubt about my enthusiasm that I had in the beginning. 

I have experienced many extreme feelings; extreme fear for Ebola, extreme hunger at night, extreme diarrhea and constipation, extreme headache and stomachache from typhoid, extreme lonesomeness in the inky darkness, extreme despair in poor surroundings, and extreme thrill of bungee jumping. I want to ask myself what has been changed in Africa since I came. Ebola is still there in West Africa, mosquitoes are still buzzing around me, drinking water from out of nowhere is still doubtful, and blackout is a commonplace event at anytime…

Where can I see the dramatic improvement? Have I had an enormous positive impact on African society? Or am I a troublesome fellow who demands this and that all the time to people? That would not be possible that I can see something different within such a short period of time. 8-month is not probably enough time for me to feel the real nature of Africa. It was also beyond my capacity to expect the difference when it comes to the rapid health growth in Africa between last June and now.

“You may come back to Mozambique later,” said Korean friend during dinner. Well… I don’t know. To Mozambique, to Zambia, to Malawi, to Tanzania, to Sierra Leone, or to somewhere else, I feel inevitable destiny that would come back to Africa. Some Korean people who I met in Africa seem to have a high opinion of me, because I have gone through many hardships in multiple African countries. The other way, I think highly of them. They immigrate to here, volunteer for several years, promote public health project from a zero basis, and devote themselves to the propagation of Christianity. I merely have a superficial knowledge of Africa. What can I know about Mozambique during two weeks?

I was a visitor in Africa. At some point, I have reached the limit and realized that I would not be the exact same as local people. The thing that have made me uncomfortable spiritually all the time was I was the person who has grown inured to advantageousness and serviceableness from the well-to-do country, so to speak. I could not change my skin color; that may make local people target me at night on the street. If I cannot avoid being a vulnerable target in somber darkness, how should I find my freedom of going outside after dark? Has somebody eagerly wanted me to come to Africa to help them? No, nobody asked me to do that. I am here on my own free will, and honestly, I do not know exactly what should I do for people here. It is just nonsense to say that I always treat African people with a heart full of feeling, with worrying possible life-threatening accident, like armed robbery at night outside.

I was a stranger in Africa. I felt eyes from random inhabitants whenever I was walking or jogging around the street. I am always seen as an alien from China who carries lots of money. I have never heard “안녕하세요 (An-nyeong-ha-se-yo?)” on the street, but instead, I have always heard “Ni-hao!” They never knew I would feel unpleasant when I heard that. When I was not in a good mood, I did not even look at them and ignore it, but I have normally tried to receive their “Ni-hao!” greeting, because I believe it must be their token of intimacy. Yes, in South Korea, Korean people never say hello to others who they do not know on the street. If I do that in South Korea, people may think ‘쟤 모야? Is he crazy?’ 

So then, why do I have to insist on doing something for Africa? Actually, there would be many things to do for my home country. South Korea looks well-developed economically, but the level of satisfaction for life is poor. It is a rough place that suicide rate is the third highest in the world; 40 people kill themselves across the country every single day. Which country do you prefer to live? In South Korea where people enjoy the benefits of civilization but most of them feel unhappiness? Or in the poorest and least-developed country where you can feel easy but everything makes you frustrated?

Korean people who I have met in Mozambique must have been put up with all sorts of hardship to settle down. They invite trouble on purpose, putting aside from advanced civilization, to practice true love in this new strange land. Language, food, and climate are all different, infrastructure discourages them, danger of all kinds of disease lurks in the path of their lives and furthermore, some local staff who they hired are never cooperative. Notwithstanding, young Korean married couple willingly came to Mozambique for missionary work, newlyweds are counting down to the big day to meet and settle down in Mozambique, branch manager from Good Neighbors takes initiative to start health service for children and mothers’ health in Mozambique, a pastor from Korea Food for Hunger International have lived in Mozambique for 18 years for progressing project as well as preaching a sermon at church.

I was neither one nor the other. I am at the crossroads now; remaining as a visitor, or becoming genuine resident wherever I go. More to the point, I will not stop approaching people first who are suffering from disease, hunger and poverty to make the world a better place. I have just taken the first step into the real society, so I have a long way to go. Also, I truly hope all Koreans in Mozambique will assimilate into Mozambican culture well to realize their dream.