It is
too cold in Baltimore. I somehow feel this coldness in my bones. This
weather reminded me of the time last year that I was looking for work in Africa
so madly. When I was in Africa, I often thought about this: ‘Can I go back to
the U.S.? Can I see my school and friends?’ New life in Africa was struggling,
and I was not even sure if I get back to the normal life. Well, I cannot say
for sure which one my normal life is at this point. Gratefully, I am still
alive, and I came back to school. I am just glad to be back and happy to hug
schoolmates who I have not seen for a long time.
Maputo, Capital of Mozambique |
People
here ask me many things about Africa with their eyes wide open. Still, Africa
is an unknown place to many of them.
“What
food did you eat?” “Is there sushi?”
“Is
there a church?”
“What
do you remember most about your Africa experience?”
“Where
did you stay?”
“Tell
me your behind story!”
“Don’t
come closer! You may have Ebola virus!”
“How
did you communicate with them?”
“Your
face didn’t get burnt black. Were you really in Africa?”
“Are
you healthy?”
Though
I was questioned the same thing, but the questions always sounded new to me. I
tried to answer to the best to give them the right impression about Africa. I
am still careful in talking anything about it, because people may reconceive
wrong idea and have prejudice against Africa.
Somebody
asked me, "What did you lose?"
'What
did I lose...?' I
thought carefully and answered "My youth!" (hahaha...)
It is an undeniable fact that I am getting old.
Then she asked me again, "So then, what did you gain?" I answered, "Everything." Yes, I gained everything. It was an invaluable life lesson that will affect my entire life.
Then she asked me again, "So then, what did you gain?" I answered, "Everything." Yes, I gained everything. It was an invaluable life lesson that will affect my entire life.
I am so
happy when people are pleased to see me. I know, 8-month is not that long time
for us to cry for joy, it is just the twinkle of an eye. It should be not the
strange moment if someone tells me “Been a while,” and leave.
However, I was a bit disappointed when person who I thought we were so close
did not say anything to me and gave me a knowing glance from the distance. To
me, coming back to school and church in the U.S. was awkward and unfamiliar
moment enough that I was all flushed with tension for the first two weeks. I
might anticipate warm greeting, “Welcome back!!!” from every
single person so that I feel a real sense of being in the U.S. I reflect on myself
that how much I was nice to people around me before I left. I might treat
someone poorly, talk with specific person, or did not contribute anything for
the group. Better late than never. I am here, and I want to be a good listener
and nice person to everyone.
The
question that made me struck dumb for a while was this: “WHY Africa?”
“Why
do you have to go there? You can do many things for the community, even in
Baltimore. Just go a few blocks away from your school. You will see the slum
area.”
It is
true. Baltimore is one of the highest percentage of blacks or African Americans
in the U.S. More than 60% of residents are black in this city, and there should
be enormous work to serve the community. Why did I leave many works that I
could have done it by walking just 5 minutes and board an airplane for Africa
that takes whole 24 hours? Why did I have to take every risk of getting
malaria, typhoid, and all kinds of tropical disease in the choking hot area and
felt so gaunt and desolate? Why did I borrow trouble and learn the hard way?
Nobody asked me to do that.
Here is
the reason that I can say generally in this blog. Between hearing and
experiencing, there is a world of difference. I might have heard so many times
that a missionary who went Africa suffered from lack of water and electricity,
and scared of snake that trespassed on the house. When I heard the story that
sounds like heroic exploits, I thought ‘That’s interesting,’ and forget about
it. If you do not experience, you will be indifferent in the end. I could never
imagine how they actually live and what kind of trouble they are suffering. In
other words, since I had everything in the U.S., I have not even realized the
preciousness of bucket of water and electricity for my entire life because those
necessities were always available. I did not have to worry about anything that
I already had. Instead, I have always complained what I could not have. I never
knew how I lucky was cause I had it all until I went to Africa. I finally have
in mind that I appreciate everything that I have had. I wanted to prove it to
myself: if I abandon all benefits of civilization and become the same as local
people in Africa, would I still have a sense of duty of helping them? I tried
hard to have the same condition that Africans have: place to live and food to
eat every day. The result: typhoid was painful, mosquitoes did not make me
sleep, unidentified ugly bugs offended me, and lack of cultured life made me
crazily bored.
After
finishing Africa life, I realize that I am never being superior to anyone. I
have seen so many smart and enthusiastic African people who eagerly want to
change the situation of their country. I have learnt many things from them, and
I was the mere person who was fortunately born in the rich place. Studying
public health was not “helping” or “saving” millions at a time,
instead, it was for “being with them” to understand their life with my full
heart. This enlightenment would have never come to me if I had stayed
in the familiar and comfortable place. That is why. I went to Africa to feel
their real nature of life. I felt head and ears, with all of my skin.
Lastly,
it is not right to say “just Africa.” There are more than 50
countries in Africa, and each country has its own feature and characteristic.
Since I have been to 5 African countries, I have simply said Africa, but I have
should mentioned each country name, Sierra Leone, Tanzania, Zambia, Malawi, and
Mozambique. If you want to remember yourself how blessed you are, I highly
recommend you visit one of African countries and stay there for a while. I am
not saying you will live in poor surroundings, but you will see the people who
have the happiest hours of their life regardless of fancy cell phone, computer
and car.
WHY
Africa? Because I can say with confidence that I am alive and I can feel the
real value of living, breathing, and smiling.
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