Sept 14. 2014. Glorifier

“Wow!” I could not keep my mouth closed for a while. I was standing at the long front entrance. This was a fancy tree avenue. They told me the name of this hotel, but I forgot that name in 3 seconds. It was just amazing for me to realize that no matter where I am, I can see a fabulous place like this. I “accidently” came this place for swimming. Elda and Masha came to my office with a small cute motor cart (taxi) and told me “Let’s go swimming!” I was wearing a black formal suit, and I did not actually want to go swim. But Masha was so stubborn, and asked me about 10 times while we were heading to the swimming pool, “You don’t really want to swim?” I kept saying, “No.. No.. No…” Anyway, I arrived at this large-scale area without any preparation. I thought many friends would come, but only three of us were in the swimming pool. I sat on the chair, still wearing a black formal suit, which was a really inappropriate clothe at the swimming pool. And I opened the laptop to kill some time. “You guys play, I will stay here.” But they looked so disappointed at me. Well, I just became a foolish boy who never enjoys his life, even when everyone was playing in the water. I think Africans (maybe, some Africans!) like to do act out on a whim; I have been embarrassed by their improvisation several times, and I thought I had to have fun at this time. “Okay… let me borrow shorts.” So, I eventually dived into the water. Fortunately, Denice, Lidya, and Gavi joined later, and we played underwater handball with random people.

Denice wanted to have breakfast after church, so we went to the restaurant in the Dodoma Hotel, the place where breakfast would be available in the Sunday morning. I rarely go to that place because food is expensive. Just as was expected, I met Koreans there. They are usually there and like to chat about this and that. I did not mean to find fault with anyone, and there was no problem to be there to have breakfast. I know some of them suffered from Typhoid after eating local food, there must be no agreeable food in Tanzania to avoid that disease. I have still had chronic stomachache since I ate African food in Sierra Leone, and sometimes I feel so terrible abdominal pain. The taste was fine, but I do not know what makes dehydration and abdomen problem. Do people wash the vegetables with unsafe water? Nevertheless, whenever I go to some nice place, I cannot get the thought out of my head that there is a stark difference between people who can afford buying morning burger and people who were starving on the street. It is just uncomfortable for me to be there. One meal at Chinese restaurant here is equal to 10 meals at local restaurant.

Surprisingly, I met some of them again here in the swimming pool who I met in the morning. There were also group of American volunteers, and many of their faces were familiar. I do glorify my life by finding famous tasty restaurants and wonderful place, going for vacation, and sharing my joy with company. But doing that even in Africa? I know some volunteers have great dedication and commitment to the community and always live in the rural area. Some other volunteers like me go to a nice place and sit on the chair wearing glasses and have fun. It is not absolutely erroneous action. It is our freedom to go anywhere we want. If you have money, you can pay and eat some nice food under the beautiful sunshine. I am just saying... If I keep finding a better place and meet natives only during business hours and play “Birds of a feather flock together” in Africa, can I verily say I am in Africa? The more less developed, I see the more the gulf between rich and poor. I played and enjoyed so well in this glorified place, but I felt so awkward at the edge of my mind. I cannot still see the clear boundary that would make me satisfy. To be in Africa, should I be top-down? Bottom-up? Or horizontal? What old habits should I throw away to say with confidence, “Yes, I am Africa?”

I am not even sure whether I really wish to deny the things that glorify my daily life in Africa.