July 29. Don’t look back! I will just move on.

I am evacuating Sierra Leone. However, I would not want to say I am just walking away from Ebola. I feel most comfortable if I say relocation. Yes, I am relocating from Sierra Leone to Tanzania because Ebola outbreak has been got into uncontrollable confusion in Sierra Leone. But I am still oppressed with big debt; I awe a debt of gratitude to all World Vision Sierra Leone (WVSL) staff. It is a critical moment for everyone to become one mind and fight with Ebola, but only myself is going to leave this country. I feel so sorry but the only option for me is relocation. Liberia has already closed most of its borders over the weekend, and Nigeria shakes with fear the fact that first Ebola case has been confirmed. I have to take action before worst case happens; before being trapped in West Africa, I get on an airplane to fly all across the African continent, West to East.

<Liberia closes its borders to stop Ebola> 

http://edition.cnn.com/2014/07/28/health/ebola-outbreak-west-africa/

<Why Ebola reaching Nigeria’s largest city is a whole new level of scary>

http://qz.com/241241/why-ebola-reaching-the-nigerian-capital-is-a-whole-new-level-of-scary/

The last day in WVSL. I asked staff to take picture with me.

I appreciate World Vision takes the precautionary nature of this action for Global Research Fellow. Yes, I can say with confidence that public health is all about prevention. While I was taking the course for certificate: Basic Security In The Filed II (BSITF II) from United Nations Department of Safety and Security (UNDSS), I found the most memorable statement.

“How can we save the lives of others if we cannot save the lives of our own? – Unicef”

My evacuation insurance from International SOS tells me, "Individuals and organisations may choose to evacuate their operations or their staff from a region or a country based on individual circumstances.” In other words, this is my, or organization’s decision to evacuate this country or not. In other words again, insurance company is willing to provide assistance to me only when I am sick. This is not the situation until I wait for getting ill; Ebola fatality rate is up to 90%, so if I contract Ebola, my possibility of death is 90%. WVSL National Office urges all staff to restrict their movement, and gets ready to provide basic supplies – food, water, and clothes – to the WV base/zonal area (rural area). Ebola has been spread across the country from the border of Guinea and Liberia, and we have to overcome this tragedy with both strong belief and realistic solution.

I express my full respect to Doctors Without Borders/ MSF because they lead from the front to treat people in the highest Ebola affected area, Kailahun District and Kenema city and all other areas; this is a life-and-death emergency medical aid.

Here is the good article to know about Ebola epidemic in West Africa and their effort to contain this disease.

<Struggling to Contain the Ebola Epidemic in West Africa>

http://www.doctorswithoutborders.org/article/struggling-contain-ebola-epidemic-west-africa

When can I see this gate again? Maybe, someday...

I board an airplane for going to Tanzania today. After long holidays for 3 days (including Eid-Ul-Fitr on Monday, public holiday for Muslim), it was good to be in WVSL National Office. As usual, staffs were doing a bright start to the week by busily engaging in their work. I went down to breakfast, near to the office. Sadly, they did not sell breakfast because of holidays. I wished I could have eaten my last breakfast, Crain Crain... in Sierra Leone. Coming back to the office, I visited every department to say good-bye to staffs. I took pictures with them to memorize this unexpected and sudden farewell moment.

“When will you come back to Sierra Leone?”

People ask me. I do not want to say that everything I feel and see this morning would be the last memory of Sierra Leone. I wish I could say “Good-bye, for the meantime.” I cannot promise to come back and cannot take a rain check.

“I don’t know. Maybe, someday?” I say. This answer has a full of ambiguity, but someday does contain the clear meaning that I would leave without any promise of return.

‘Someday, we may meet again, though nobody knows where we are going.’

I am about to make my farewell before I leave, keeping short but strong and intense two-month memory in Sierra Leone. I take water taxi to get Lungi international airport, exact opposite way when I arrived in and came into Freetown on June 9.

‘Nothing controls and concentrates my mind better than the fact that I might die tomorrow.’

In the water taxi. This is the last time to look back. 

We may die someday. Either just this minute, or later. We never know when that happens. We may die of Ebola, cancer, various diseases, random gunfire, bomb, traffic accident, and many other reasons. There is something that we, human beings, can never control. So then, what should I do now? Should I tremble with fear and do nothing in the room?

The most precious moment is right now, at this very moment. I can breathe, and I can feel the sea breeze in the water taxi, so I do realize that I am still alive. This moment will live in my memory everlastingly. I got off from the water taxi. Behind me, there should be ocean. But do not look back! I will just move on.

Then…

I load my body into the airplane. I am really leaving now.

Bye, Sierra Leone! Though absent in body, I am present with you in spirit! 

July 28. Last Night in Freetown, “Hakuna Matata!”

WVSL DM&E workshop for 3 days!

Tomorrow will be my departure date for Tanzania; however, I realized that I was not still ready yet to prepare for boarding an airplane. I have just received an airplane ticket, and I had no Tanzania visa. Today was public holiday in Sierra Leone, but WVSL staff attended DM&E workshop at the Hotel Barmoi conference room. Since I needed Internet to communicate with program coordinators, I also joined there and sat at the backseat. Every process should be going fast as well as be prepared well to go to Tanzania. At the same time, communication among WV International, Sierra Leone, Tanzania, and me should also be smoothly go well; getting an invitation letter, preparing logistic, contacting with WVT staff when I arrive… I simply thought that moving to a different place would be exciting, but getting ready with speeding up all processes was not easy.

First of all, my final destination has been changed. I was supposed to go to Arusha, Tanzania, but I should stop boarding an airplane in Dar Es Salaam, Tanzania, stay there for two days, and then move to Dodoma on Friday, capital city in Tanzania. So I have to claim my baggage to receive in Dar Es Salaam, instead of Arusha. If I forget to do it, I will not meet my baggage in Tanzania and I have no clothes to change!

Second, I need CTA visa to enter Tanzania. All I knew about this visa is for people who will be volunteering in Tanzania. For having CTA/VISA application, I need five required documents: copy of my passport, CV, 2 passport size photos, invitation letter, and progress report. Luckily, I already had photos, and I have just received an invitation letter. However, the problem was progress report; I needed this as soon as possible, before leaving. This report would be for verification provided my academic advisor that I am a registered student at Hopkins and World Vision Global Health Fellow. The time was around 12pm, which was 8am in Baltimore. I wrote email to my academic advisor, Li, and program advisors, Ingrid, and Karen to get immediate help. I set this email as the highest important, to receive progress report from them by today (or at least by tomorrow in the morning.) Wow, Ingrid replied me in 8 minutes, and said that Li might be in China. 12 minutes later, Li emailed me that she was sitting in Helsinki airport, and she only have the next hour to work on this. I quickly wrote draft and sent it to her, and she edited/put on letter head/sign and sent me a letter in 24 minutes. Wow, I got a progress report within a blink of my eye! I thank my school advisors for their prompt assistance with professionalism. Every communication through Skype, international call from Ireland, email with advisors in Baltimore, asking advice for Ebola to professors, and asking International SOS for emergency service was a real-time and urgent. On the one hand, it was kind of exciting to keep eye on computer and cell phone all day long to get ready to go to Tanzania.

Third, there might be surveillance for Ebola in all entries, Sierra Leone, Ghana, Kenya, and Tanzania. All individuals from West African countries may be required to answer the questions on arrival and screened by immigration Port Health officials to sort out Ebola suspect. The worst scenario will be quarantine; Ebola suspected individual will be taken by airport ambulance to the hospital, isolated and observed. My program coordinator, Erin, wanted me to get ready to respond any Ebola questions with a calm attitude. Also, she advised me not to contact with passengers who are next to me in the airplane because they might be possible Ebola patients. (Last but not least), Wow… leaving Sierra Leone needs a lot of precautions and attentions.

Oh, my broken umbrella! 

Without my knowing it, the time became 5pm. The workshop was about to wrap-up, and staff were beginning to get off work. Today was the last night for me in Sierra Leone. I wished I could have met any staff to have dinner, but all staff were in a hurry to go back their home. I know… today was public holiday, and they worked all day. It suddenly began raining so crazy, and I decided to wait for rain stops. I was left alone in the conference room and I moved my body hesitantly towards my home. It was still raining, little bit sagged though, and I carefully walked and avoided mud puddles on the road. To make matters worse, my umbrella was suddenly torn… Oh no, I have just bought it in Mattru! I was hasty to avoid the rain under the Casino building awning. I asked for Casino security guards consent to be there for a moment.

“Rain small small?”

“Yes, I am waiting until rain stops.”

“What do…?”

“I am working for World Vision.”

“Fishing?”

“No. W-o-r-l-d V-i-s-i-o-n.”

“…Fishing?”

Dear deer, I am leaving soon... 

I exchanged a few sentences with them, waiting for rain small small. Unfortunately, it was still raining, so I covered my head with umbrella pieces and kept walking to my home. I expected wonderful last moment; but it was not a pleasant night. Going back home, I packed all my stuff. I have just had an actual feeling that I am really leaving this country. Nephas, who lives in the next door, knocked my door.

“This man is going to Tanzania!”

We were getting friendly but I was so sorry that I have to go. He taught me some Tanzania Swahili.

“Hakuna Matata!”

That meant “No problem!” He said Tanzanians like to say “Hakuna Matata!” It was good to know. I liked it. “Hakuna Matata!… Hakuna Matata!…” I muttered to myself continually. Tomorrow this time, I will have had dinner in Tanzania. So, there should be no problem.

So, I am saying it one more time.

“Hakuna Matata!”

July 27. My Name is Park Chulwoo!

I go by Charles. Because I like this name. I did not quite remember when I started using this English name; I possibly chose this name for the English class when I was an elementary school kid. My Enlgish teacher with blond hair and blue eye from Canada or the U.S. might not pronounce my name Chulwoo well, so I picked up the name Charles to make them remember and pronounce my name perfectly.

Before coming to the U.S., I had never imagined I might have had poor pronunciation. I simply thought that there is also English pronunciation for English, so my Korean Kimchi-pronunciation would not be the problem. However, (still!), I have a terrible tongue that has been already too rigid to roll my tongue for saying “R.” I could not even pronounce my English name “Cha-R-les” well, so Americans did not get what my name was.

“Hi! My name is Chaz! [Charles]!”

“Cha-z??”

“No, Chal-zz [Charles]!”

“Oh, Cha-rrr-les!!”

I always had to introduce my English name to Americans at least twice, and they always had to double-check whether they heard was right. “R” pronunciation was getting way worse if I become tense, tired, or have no confidence to tell big audience.

“th” (번데기) pronunciation is also so hard to me. I am not really used to protrude tongue between upper and lower teeth to pronounce this; in other word, I am greatly embarrassed to show my tip of tongue to people, so my tongue cannot go further from the inner wall of upper teeth. The problem is that my major is Public Health; I have to pronounce nicely what my major is, but there is always frustrated moment.

“What are you studying?”

“Public Heal-z [Health]!”

“Public… what?”

“Public Heal-sss [Health]!”

“Public… Account?”

“No, public… HEAL-SSS [Health]!”

“Oh, Public HEAL-TTTHHH!”

Pronouncing my name and my major are the most basic as well as important first step to start conversation with new people. However, I always have bitter experience of saying my name and my major like that.

Anyway, the name Charles Park is widely used for school, friends, church, World Vision, and every other people. I do not even hear Charles in Family Kingdom Hotel; all employees call me Pa-ka. They always give me a warm reception, “Hey! Pa-ka!” and give me a new bottle of water. The authentic name Chulwoo is only used for official statement; on the passport, school enrollment, bank, airplane ticket, and identification card. Since I have lived in the U.S. (+ Africa) for 4 years, I have been mostly told my name as Charles. I feel like my real name Chulwoo is almost forgotten, even by me as well.

I had been waiting for the airplane ticket for Tanzania from this morning. World Vision Sierra Leone would support the ticket for me, so I did not have to book it by myself. It might also be the first time that somebody books my flight. Magnus forwarded ticket copy email to me at night, and I checked departs and arrives time: Freetown to Nairobi, Kenya (stopping at Accra, Ghana), Nairobi to Dar Es Salaam, Tanzania, and Dar Es Salaam to the final destination, Arusha, northern Tanzania. I will board an airplaine at 17:40pm in Freetown on July 29, and arrive in Arusha next day, at 12:35pm on July 30. It must be a long trip with 1 stop and 2 transferring, about 16-hour flight. 

But wait! What is it? Passenger(s): PARK/CHULWOOCHARLES…?

E-ticket also says my name is PARK/CHULWOOCHARLES. The name “Charles” might have been added into middle name section. I was panicking.

E-ticket said that “Always give the names as per the passport, as name changes are not allowed once a booking has been confirmed.”

It might be the first time I really hated my name “Charles.” Why haven’t I simply used my authentic name, and I make some issues like that? Even if Ebola epidemic is out of my control, I feel so bad that World Vision International, Ireland, Sierra Leone, and Tanzania have been doing extra precaution for my safety. Before pointing out this issue to Magnus, I wanted to check it out whether middle name makes some problem to board an airplane. Using my modem to the empty credit, I spent 3 hours for searching “airplane ticket middle name issues,” until 2am.

Wow, you would never imagine that there were many people on Google website that had the similar symptoms as I have. They were also panicked and worried so much about the possibility that they might not get in an airplane. But, most cases on the website were “wrong/missing middle name in the airplane ticket.” Americans have first, middle, and last name on the passport, and they usually forgot filling in their middle names or just wrote initial middle name on the ticket. In that case, I realized that it should be perfectly fine. But that was not my case. I do not have middle name on the passport, but have middle name on the ticket!

I searched all possible combinations of words to describe my situation on the Google searching space. “middle name on ticket, but not on passport,” “no middle name on passport,” “middle name issues…” There were two postings that had the similar situation as me, and the answer was “It should be OK,” because generally, airline system only recognizes first and last name. But I was still nonreassuring because my airplane would be Kenya Airways and Precisionair that operates in Africa. Even if it might be fine for America/Canada, airlines in Africa might not accept this name difference between passport and ticket.

My passport: I am South Korean! 

To make it perfectly sure, I had to get this straight and asked for help to Magnus and World Vision Sierra Leone. Since there would be other official documents, MoU and invitation letter, my full name needed to be written as my first and last name without middle name on those documents as well. Even during this holiday, administration staff Cassandra kindly fixed this problem and amended my name to PARK/CHULWOO. Whew! I was relaxed. Now, I have a full confidence that I can show this ticket with my passport to airport staff.

I thought to myself that how many times have I spoken with assurance that “My name is Chulwoo Park!” United Secretary-General, Ki-moon Ban, marks his name publicly as Ban Ki-moon, the original Korean way of name order. In this case, how many people recognize that his first name is Ki-moon? Yes, my original-original name, including the authenticity and sequence of name, is Park Chulwoo. I am saying out loud, “My name is Park Chulwoo!”  

July 26. Home, Sweet Home!

She is afraid of me because I look like white Chinese.

I am not talking about my home, my sweet home. My contract with apartment in Baltimore has been already finished, so I have no home in the U.S. When I was in Salt Lake City, Utah for undergraduate, I moved my dormitory about 5-6 times for 3 years. So, I am tired of packing and moving. My life in the U.S. and Africa is still temporary; living in a temporary home with temporary visa just for school is my current life, as an international student in the U.S. Where and who do I rely on?

I visited pastor James home again. I spent a whole night the other day for all-night pray to spiritually fight against Ebola. This is a real sweet home. It does not matter how fancy or splendid. It does matter who you stay with. Linda, Louisa, James Jr, Winifred, and Esther are siblings. Emmanula was still scared of me and sadly cried whenever she saw me. I thought I got friendly with her last time, but it actually got worse today. She had already forgotten about me…

Although I did not do anything special, time went well. While watching the scenery that Louisa is cooking, listening to music, exploring the backyard to see intact Cassava leaves and roots, hanging out with Agnes, trying to reach Emmanula, watching a drama and movie, I spent a peaceful time, blowing away all stressful moments that I have had so far. I came here early in the afternoon, but the day has already become the dust of the evening. I wanted to go back my home before getting too dark, but they were resistant to let me go. Louisa would go along with me to my home. Oh, okay… I felt embarrassed by the fact that a woman who is younger than me would escort me. But it was not good timing to speak of man-ish, I mean, masculinity. It is not a fun experience for me to walking and taking a taxi at night. I am a stranger here, and I may become complete blind stranger in the darkness, so I have to be careful of being outside at night, for my safety.

On the way back to my home, I thought about the meaning of family. At some point, I might already been numbed about the importance of people who is close to me. Maybe, I have not even known what is the most priceless and valuable to me, and I have only run and run just like being chased by something. I have been put pressure upon myself to run so hard without noticing I was already worn out. Now, here I am in Africa. What is the most precious to me? Doing some work in Africa should not be everything; I feel I am slowly refreshing and regaining my full passion. Loving people around me is the most important. But how? I will have to say good-bye to pastor James’ family soon (or may not have time to see them again before leaving). And farewell moment must be hard. But I know I cannot stay here forever. Maybe, when I have family, I will be more likely to settle my life. But not now. Right now, I will disappear like the wind. But I hope, at least, people remember me as a good and sincere person. I believe these several awhile but good moments will come together and lead me to have strong stability, even if this moment – not expressing regret at sudden departing to people – makes me sorrowful.

July 25. Are You Married?

The most FAQ from Sierra Leoneans is “Are you married?” When I say “No,” then, they ask me “Do you have a kid?” I am embarrassed to hear the question because the order of question is so awkward. I said I am not married, but they ask me whether I have children. Do I look like a single dad? I answered “No,” with a curious frame of mind. Then they ask me again, “Do you have a fiancé?” Oh… I have to say the same answer, “No.” The last FAQ is “How old are you?” I said, “29 years old.”

When I pass these unfamiliar orders of questions for my marital status, a look of surprise comes over their faces, and they say, “What’s wrong with you?”

Am I strange here? Yes, I might be a complete stranger to them who is from the opposite side of the earth. I may have been habituated to hear “Are you seeing anyone?” outside of Africa. Actually, nobody have asked that to me when I was in the U.S. I had a sudden think-tank time why I am single, belatedly here in Africa. Have I done something wrong? I start worrying myself.

The average age of marriage in Sierra Leone is early 20s. And they love to make a big family, having about 5 or 6 children. Some large family, like Joseph Musa’s, also lives with extended family, so they all live in a little cluster of houses. That is amazing to me because today in many countries is the age of nuclear family. I wonder how the creepy word, nuclear, combines with worm word, family, which defines small family. Anyway, I have only one younger sister, and she also live separated from my parents. My family comprises of the father, mother, younger sister, and I, but this small family disintegrate into three: parents, younger sister, and I live in different places. I do not even remember when is the last time my family gathered and ate dinner all together.  Moreover, our recent family picture may be taken several years ago, but I have no idea know what/where it is. Is there any issue with my family? No, not at all. Just because it is becoming common where I was from.

Quite the contrary, Sierra Leoneans have a big big family. What surprised me was that I often hear somebody’s relatives have passed away.

A friend of mine texted me through WhatsApp all of a sudden, “Hi how are u’ I los my uncel.” [I lost my uncle.] Another friend told me that her boyfriend was dead last year. All I could say that I was so sorry for bereaved friends’ loss, and I did not ask the name of a disease. But the point is that people here die of some reasons at their young age.

I know that remaining unmarried is not that pleasant, especially here in Sierra Leone. Should I tell them a white lie that I have a really really pretty lady in the U.S. who is always counting the date I come back? If I do, they will be no longer looking at me so strangely, I also feel relaxed, avoiding interrogation about what’s wrong with me. 

No, I just want to be honest, like this:

“I have a fiancé. But I don’t know yet where she is. She may have been doing so well somewhere, and time will tell who she is.”

In the home balcony: How much am I enjoying my single life?

July 24. AIM Health Mid-term Evaluation

When I heard the words qualitative data and AIM Health Mid-term Evaluation for the first time, I was puzzled. Qualitative? What data? What is AIM? Mid-term? Do I need to take some kind of mid-term exam? What I had known about AIM was AIDS Impact Model – a program that projects the consequences of the AIDS epidemic – from LiST. But I realized that AIM-Health was Access to Infant and Maternal Health, in this case. Oh, my acronym!

Spectrum Policy Modeling System is to analyze evidence-based information to estimate the impact of development programs and policies. Several project models system – Demography (DemProj), Family Planning (FamPlan), AIM, RAPID (Socioeconomic Impacts of High Fertility and Population Growth), PMTCT (Prevention of Mother-to-Child Transmission of HIV) and LiST (Lives Saved Tool) – are integrated into this Spectrum. So to speak, it is computer software to estimate the future! Especially, I am going to analyze LiST to estimate the impact of health intervention for maternal, neonatal and childhood health. By using LiST, I need to figure out how World Vision 7-11 Strategy has been and will have been implemented well during AIM-Health project period.

<7-11 Strategy> http://www.wvi.org/health/7-11-health-strategy

For qualitative data, I have been conducting in depth interviews (IDIs) for various areas of AIM-Health stakeholders. I have about 20 interviewees, and I finally begin to see daylight. I have interviewed PHU in-charge, District M&E officer, District hospital senior clinical person, point person in DHMT, development facilitators, project manager, base manager, national technical coordinator, WV M&E officer, grant finance managers. Additionally, I asked other staff who are involved in AIM-Health at some point, so I interviewed National Director and Finance Acquisition Manager. But I am not still done yet. I need to make an appointment with local council/district chairman and ADP manager. It seems a little early to give self-general critique, but I have to move on to LiST analysis from now!

The hardest thing about having an interview was that the almost all interviews kept being postponed for many reasons. People have broken or changed the appointed time, or they were busy with doing other things. Especially, Ebola outbreak suddenly restricted me to reach the rural area, so it became impossible for me to see them in-person. I am still trying to meet people through Skype, but poor Internet connection and long-distance communication keeps me from succeeding in interview. All IDIs were supposed to be done by the 2^nd week of July, but I am already late for almost 3 weeks.

The second hard thing was that I was totally ignorant of AIM-Health project. What is timed and targeted counseling (ttC)? What is positive deviance-hearth? What is community health committees (COMMs)? What is citizen voice and action (CVA)? Every time I interviewed, I was confused what I am doing: Am I actually interviewer? Or am I learning or evaluating? Am I listening to lecture from interviewees? I think the answer is all YES. But until recently, I had been wondering about my role because I am not WV staff but mere ignorant intern; I knew nothing about this project, so how do I evaluate mid-term AIM-Health project? So I asked my school colleague, Allyson in Ghana, “Why the position Intern exist? For my good? Or organization’s good?” Her answer was “Both.” This simple and clear answer explained everything. It was totally up to me how to balance my daily life to learn, work, make a good relationship with staff, explore new environment, enjoy new food, make friends, find hobbies, understand local people’s life and so on. In the same vein, I can not only learn but also work during interviews. If there is something to hear again or want to know, I have to ask that without any constraint. However, if I had knew more about the project in advance, I would not have spent time to ask the basic questions to interviewees during the given short time, and the quality of IDI would have been much better because I would have asked better questions.

The third hard thing was language. I heard my fellow colleague, Denice in Tanzania, had interviews accompanied by translator because people speak Swahili. And I saw Nicole’s picture that she was with other data collectors.

<Fellow Denice in Tanzania’s Blog> 
http://denicemarie.wordpress.com/

<World Vision Global Health Fellows Programme’s Blog> https://worldvisionghfp.wordpress.com/

Let's transcribe IDIs! 

Here in Sierra Leone, people speak English very well. I am so impressed that people in West Africa take the unified exam written in English for graduating high school, and they freely go to another country to enter university. By comparison, my English is dumb. I endure so hard with my rough English and rough writing in my blog. African’s unique pronunciation and accent was hard for me to understand for the first time. As time goes by, I have been accustoming myself to their English. My cell phone is hero; it functions as wonderful recorder. After interview, I listened to interview recordings again and again until I get perfectly what they said. Staff in the office had meetings and something to talk, so I barely heard the recording. My guesthouse in rural area was quite enough to hear recording, but I lost passion to do extra work at home in somber darkness. Actually, No light had nothing to do with transcribing because my laptop still had half-charged battery; but the shadows of night made me stop doing anything.

The fourth hard thing was respondents' order of priority toward interview. This IDI is my top priority as a fellow, so I need to get all IDIs done. On the other hand, some interviewees may consider IDI as the least concerned task; I called a respondent every day to make an appointment, but I could not meet him and instead, I sent interview questionnaire to him. I felt like I was interrupting busy staff; they have urgent emails, and somebody stepped in and do some work with a respondent even during interview.

When I drank bear with Momoh yesterday night, I asked him what makes challenging to him during the work. He said that he had a proposal to submit by noon today, so he was really busy, and continued as follows:

“Normally, we may feel unsatisfied the slow Internet connection, no electricity, no clean water. However, if I don’t finish my project on time, that means I did nothing. Those circumstances are just excuses. The most important thing is the result.”

He is right. No matter where I am, getting things done is the most important. I may have sweet excuses that might have been hindering my given roles; ‘Oh, everyone here is in chaos because of Ebola, and I can’t concentrate anything,’ ‘Oh, relocating to the new place is so stressful, so I need more time,’ ‘Oh, I have no electricity and no Internet at home, so it affects my work badly.’ I will allow no excuses. It is my responsibility to stay physically/mentally fit under those circumstances. Rather, I believe those circumstance will make me much stronger.

After those twists and turns, now I have most of transcribed qualitative data. The next step is how to analyze the data. Well… I do not know how to do it yet. There are always hindrances in every step! However, It is fine because I am also going to learn and work at the same time, just like I did for IDIs. AIM-Health mid-term evaluation is slowly going on, but it is on a cruise. Remember, Slow and steady wins the race.
                                                                                                

July 23. Slowly but Surely

I can hear the Ebola news here and there in real time in World Vision National Office. This news is way faster than BBC or the Washington Post. During the devotion time in the morning, National Director Leslie Scott said that Dr. Khan, who is the only one Ebola expert in Sierra Leone, has contracted Ebola virus. This news hit the headline on the local newspaper, Sad News… Dr. Khan was diagnosed with Ebola positive. I feel excessive distress that medical doctors, nurses, public health officials who had been taking the initiative in treating Ebola patients also have got infected and passed away. This is really serious. They may know how to protect themselves very well, but this virus has also claimed their lives as well. Nonetheless, he is a real fighter against Ebola, so I believe he will be a survivor from this deadly disease. 


<Sierra Leon's top Ebola doctor infected as the worst outbreak in history continues, with no end in sight>

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/worldviews/wp/2014/07/23/sierra-leones-top-ebola-doctor-infected-as-the-worst-outbreak-in-history-continues-with-no-end-in-sight/

"Even with the full protective clothing you put on, you are at risk."

I am really wondering what kinds of disease on God’s earth lead human beings death almost immediately just because of touching somebody’s hands. I do not know how 17 neglected tropical diseases have been selected, but this Ebola virus is a real neglected virus that is ignorant to everyone, including health professional. It first appeared in Congo and Sudan in 1976, but the vaccine or cure for that has been no progress. I presume that is why the infection route is too broad; WHO states that the infection is transmitted by direct contact with the blood, body fluids and tissues of infected animals or people. It makes us in chaos because we do not know who the patient is on the street. Contacting with people who is in incubation period is ok? Touching money is ok? Touching taxi door is ok? Even if some expert says it is ok, but I cannot believe that fully. At this point, this is just horrified disease that all information seems to be unclear.

Toward the end of working hours, I asked Grant Acquisition Manager, Momoh Juanah, “Momoh, do you have good plan in this evening?” without any thought. But he assumed that I would want to walk around the beach and have some bears. “No, no, I didn’t mean anything. I just asked.” Until the end of closing time, he asked me for three times, “I thought you need some fresh air and bear.” I was so moved that my boss was warm-hearted who felt sympathize with my tedious life cycle: office and home, and office and home. I cannot deny that my daily life is so simple. After work, I am so frustrated by this Ebola situation and sleep early, and I cannot even go jogging because it rains everyday. I hesitant to go anywhere, and even hesitant to meet church friends.

“is anythg goin on u don’t wnt me 2 knw?”

“is it because of the breakout you are avoiding me 4?”

Those texts were from my friends. What a terrible situation for me is! I love them but I am reluctant to meet them because I have no idea who they have contacted with. Ebola is not a good opportunity to know anymore. It is just survival or death. It severs relationship between people and me, and isolates me in office and home. Human being is endlessly weak creature against all kinds of diseases. Besides Ebola, I do not enjoy going out during the night for security reason. Besides security reason, there is nowhere to go anyway.

Momoh and I went to Lumley beach area, the place where I stay, and he parked his car on the street. It was raining incessantly, and we sat on the chair under the awning. The name of the bar was VI Bar. (Is it pronounced vi bar or 6 bar?) While listening to sound of rain, I had one Heineken and two Savanna. Those alcohols were kicking me slowly but surely, just like Ebola virus has been spreading all across the country slowly but surely. When I get up in the next morning, I expect to become sober up, or start the day with a dull headache. But I regret to say that Ebola news become more serious next day. Bad feeling took possession of my whole mood that I will leave good people in Sierra Leone behind. And I will meet new people in a new place. Please, I did not mean it. Let me sleep again. This is the best thing I can do right now.