June 25. I. 만사

I am not good at talking about myself to somebody else. Even if there is something that I feel uncomfortable, I try to handle with it by myself. I am careful in talking whenever I have something to ask for, even though it is a reasonable demand. I am from the country of courteous people in the East, South Korea, and I still keep the Korean’s characteristic. However, I needed to change because it was not a good attitude in the U.S. Everyone during the discussion engage in free debate without any constraint or formality.

Out of sight, but it becomes more vivid mind. 

When I heard about 만나며 사랑하며 (만사), the four-month church program that mentor and I meet every week for one-on-one talks, I had a personal antipathy because I did not want to share my personal life with anyone. Also, I did not want to show my weakness, and I always pretend not to be vulnerable. However, as always, church is the magnetic attraction; I got very powerful and intense feeling of joining 만사 program all of sudden. It was in the middle of 1^st year coursework at school, and I was almost losing my mind, so there was no way for me to contribute to it. Nonetheless, putting any difficulties aside, I began 만사 with my mentor, June.

When we were about to begin 만사, I asked him that we would have met via Skype or e-mail from June, and it is still possible to do it. The meaning of 만나며 사랑하며 – Meeting and Loving – did not have to be physically meeting. That was how it all started. I have to see everything to finish. There are several chapters left, so it should be done every week through any method: letter, e-mail, or Skype. I talk everything about me to him; if I do not do it, 만사 will be meaningless. Sharing even trivial daily event makes me feel relaxed and relieved. I think writing my blog is an extension of happiness of sharing my life in Africa. I want to tell people that Africa is not a mysterious continent anymore, but it is another place where people live. The way of living is the same, no matter where human being is. I do not know how many friends read my blog, but I would be very happy if there is at least one regular reader who sympathizes with my blog.

Chapter 7. explains how man and woman came into the world, and how human relationship is formed. For this chapter, June and I should have discussed in person because it is really important to me! But I emailed him, and I am waiting for his reply. Genesis 2:18 says, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Well… I am a super-single for a long time. However, I feel that many things are beyond my power, and I cannot rely upon my single life forever. I got one-way ticket to come here, and I do not still know when I go back. Someone spoke half in jest, half in earnest(?) that I may fall in love with African lady and live in Africa during my entire life. Where on earth am I going? I cannot know my future. However, if I interact with people in an unaffected way, and then only will be able to realize who is the person that I want to share everything about me for the rest of my life.